You know you’ve been in Finland too long, when…

This text has been around the internet for a long while. I took the longest version I could find, removed a few outdated points and added one.

  1. A stranger on the street smiles at you - you think:
    • they're slightly insane
    • they're a foreigner
  2. You don’t think twice about putting the wet dishes away in the cupboard to dry.
  3. You see a student taking a front row seat and wonder “Who does he think he is!!??”
  4. Silence is fun.
  5. The reason you take the ferry to Stockholm or Tallinn is:
    • duty free vodka
    • duty free beer
    • to party heartily…no need to get off the boat in Stockholm or Tallinn, just turn around and do it again on the way back to Finland.
  6. Your native language has seriously deteriorated, now you begin to “eat medicine”, “open the television”, “close the lights off”, and tell someone: “you needn’t to!”. Expressions like “Don’t panic” creep into your everyday language.
  7. You associate pea soup and awesome pancakes with Thursday.
  8. If someone has a beer on a weekday you think they must be an alcoholic, but it's perfectly normal for half the town to get drunk senseless every Saturday.
  9. Your idea of unforgivable behaviour now includes walking across the street when the light is red, even though there are no cars in sight.
  10. Your notion of street life is reduced to the few teenagers hanging out in front of the railway station on Friday nights.
  11. You finally stop asking your class “Are there any questions?”
  12. Your old habit of being “Fashionably late” is no longer acceptable. You are always on time. And on time means five minutes early.
  13. Hugging is reserved for sexual foreplay.
  14. You hear loud-talking passengers on the train. You immediately assume:
    • they are drunk
    • they are Swedish-speaking
    • they are Americans
    • all of the above.
  15. You understand why the Finnish language has no future tense.
  16. You no longer have to search for the flushing mechanism.
  17. You’ve come to expect Sunday morning sidewalk vomit dodging.
  18. You know that “religious holiday” means “let’s get pissed.”
  19. You enjoy salmiakki.
  20. You know that “Gents” is another term for sidewalk.
  21. When you’re hungry you can peel a boiled potato like lightning.
  22. You’ve become lactose intolerant.
  23. You accept that 80°C in a sauna is chilly, but 20°C outside is freaking hot.
  24. “No comment” becomes a conversation strategy.
  25. You can make spaghetti with meat and ketchup.
  26. You understand why Finns love to lay back and enjoy the sun during sunny summer days!
  27. It’s acceptable to eat lunch at 11.00.
  28. Your front door step beggins to resemble a shoe shop.
  29. Even you don’t understand your own jokes.
  30. You always KNOW what temperature it is.
  31. The next day when they say “We broke up.” you know it means “He didn’t call.”
  32. You know that “Can I get you a drink?” means “Give me your money and tell me what you want.”
  33. You understand the importance of double vowels/consonants.
  34. You can actually pick out mistakes in the subtitles.
  35. You stand in a bus if you can’t find a vacant pair of seats.
  36. You prefer to run like a maniac to catch the bus/tram rather than wait in the cold.
  37. You know that if a finnish guy is talking to you in a bar … he is flirting!
  38. You understand the need of taking vitamin D in winter.
  39. You start to say “we” when talking about Finland e.g. In Finland “We” have lots of lakes. In Finland “we” like to drink, etc.
  40. You think it's weird that a person kisses you on the cheek when you just met. You just need your personal space…
  41. You enjoy winter and snow but you hate räntä.
  42. You understand what “Smells like winter” actually means…
  43. Your bad mood becomes your good mood.
  44. You get all the Swedish jokes.
  45. Whatever is left of your salary after paying rent, you spend on food and alcohol.
  46. The only couple talking in a tram or a bus always seems to annoy you.
  47. You are immediately suspicious when somebody starts talking to you in the street.
  48. You no longer have a problem accepting money from someone bumming a cigarette.
  49. You seriously consider visiting the sauna more than three times a week.